I’ve recently spoken to many of you who have ended long-term relationships because your partner failed to meet your mental and emotional needs.
They essentially just drove there because they had already “caught” you and for some reason didn’t comprehend that it would take them the same effort to keep you. They didn’t bother to listen, pay attention, or bother to bother.
Maybe you’ve had the feeling of being held down by someone who is unwilling to invest the same amount of time or energy in a relationship or in themselves as you are.
Dragging someone along who either utterly rejects learning and growth or simply shows little interest in it when you do is what it feels like to be “Ball and Chained” to them.
I am sorry that you gave your time, energy and effort to someone who would not give you the same in return.
I’m sorry you had to learn the hard way that being in the wrong relationship makes you feel lonelier than being single.
I’m sorry you gave this person a piece of your life that you can never get back.
But don’t belittle yourself because in reality you got something in return. you have perspective You’ve gained a greater ability to spot the qualities you do and don’t want in a future teammate. You have gained the ability to draw your line and say, “I will no longer accept this in my life.” Only the person who didn’t give you what you need can give you this ability. There is a silver lining.
Of course nobody is perfect and we cannot expect someone to know our wants and needs without communicating with them. But that’s what relationships are all about: communication. The ability not only to speak, but also to listen, absorb and above all act on what we have learned.
Even worse than passive apathy is someone who actually makes you feel bad.
Someone who is insecure about themselves will also try to break you so that you don’t have the courage to leave them. They will consistently discourage you or point out mistakes or shortcomings. This is unacceptable and you need to move away from this person as they will not change.
You deserve better than the emotional slacker; You deserve better than the person who has no interest in connecting with you on a deeper level; You deserve better than the person who sent their rep on dates for the first few weeks/months until you committed to them and then showed you their true colors, making you feel trapped.
Your self-worth is not determined by how much someone else appreciates or dislikes you.
That’s why it’s called self-worth… and you have to stay true to that. You need to set your bar at a certain level and not invite anyone into your life who will not rise to achieve it.
Stay strong, stay positive and most of all stay true to yourself. Someone will come by and appreciate you for you.
